All right, you have hit the big 30, right? Maybe you are careening quickly toward 40 and you want to know how to find a girlfriend in your 30’s.
I have good news for you. It is not only possible, but it is probable to increase your odds of doing this by following the 5 tips below that most men miss. 90% of the men in the world do not follow this advice, based on what I hear on the dating women radio show that I co-host.
ONE: Understand what kind of woman you SHOULD be looking for
A lot of men wander around from attractive woman to attractive woman never knowing what the person inside is like. If you are in your 30’s looking for love, it is likely that you have had one or more experiences with a serious relationship. You might have even been married before. Most men in their 30’s have these things in their past, but they fail to understand the reason things blew up is they either failed to treat the right girl right (more on that later) or they chose the wrong woman to begin with (which happens a LOT).
You should look for a woman with a flexible personality that is a giver and is self-reliant. The structured or hard headed women with self-esteem issues and excess baggage can be a thing of the past for you if you follow my advice, because every woman EXCEPT the self-reliant type does not respond well to the tips I give in this article (especially mystery and challenge, discussed later).
Many men overrate her looks and do not look into what is inside. Women that are just “cute” physically can become beautiful to you if they have a great personality. On the flip side, women that look like magazine models can become “ugly” if they are mercenaries or structured.
TWO: It is all about HER interest level
Nobody talks about the interest level of the woman! How does she feel about you? Most guys are attracted to a woman and they CHARGE ahead because the male ego falsely tells you “if I like her, she must like me back.”
Men have to learn NOT to rush into rejection. You have to keep a constant monitor on whether or not she is into you or not. Does she laugh at your jokes? Is it easy to get a date with her? Do you feel as if you are the absolute center of the action when you are out with her? You have to consistently look for signs of her interest level either raising or lowering because you are a STRANGER to each other until you hit 2 months or 10 dates.
Yes, you heard me right. You two are STRANGERS until you hit the 2-month or 10-date mark. I am consistently amazed when guys call into our show or write emails saying they “know the girl” even though they have only been on 3 dates with her.
You need TIME in with a woman but unfortunately, most men RUSH INTO REJECTION.
THREE: Treat the right girl right
A lot of guys can get women to fall in love. I bet you have had women in love with you before. Did they stay in love? A lot of guys “relax and change” once they have the relationship locked in. The same fun guy that took her dancing and to interesting weekend destinations now plays poker with the boys on their former date nights and asks her to serve sandwiches to his friends.
Let me break it down to you. She is not your best buddy nor is she your loyal pooch. Your best buddy and loyal pooch will forgive you having moments where you are not treating them as you know you should.
Your lady, on the other hand, will lower her interest level until you are OUT.
Another thing guys do is start to make her mama or the psychiatrist as they get more serious with her. We will discuss this in the next tip but women like it light and funny. I know there will be serious subjects as you get into a more significant relationship, but there is no reason why you have to be serious all the time. Work through the serious stuff and move on.
Remember, she likes it light and funny. Guys that make her mama or the psychiatrist put her in a position that she does not want to be in, plus she cannot perceive you as a man to be in love with if you continually whine to her.
FOUR: The light and funny gentleman is what she wants
What do most women want out of relationships? They want to laugh. They want to have a fun time on a date or when they are around you. They also want a REAL MAN that is not afraid to say no to them if he thinks he is right.
Gentlemen are also a mystery and a challenge to women. They do not talk about going out on another date when they are on one with her, they do not give excessive compliments, they do not give gifts as an attempt to buy her affection, and she continually wonders (in the early stages) if he is seeing other women.
The gentleman has the “I do not need you, you need me” attitude with women that is displayed in his actions and reactions to her.
FIVE: Keep in mind dating is like sales and you should only pursue your “hot” leads
Out of all the women you talk to, only a few will be long term candidates. You have to kiss a lot of frogs, so to speak. We tell guys on the show all the time that “women help you when they like you.”
This would seem obvious, but to a lot of guys it is not.
I cannot tell you how many guys I see handing out their business cards or continually asking a woman for a date after they have been turned down.
Just approach the lady you want as a gentleman and ask her for the number after you establish a little rapport. If you get anything but the digits right away, then walk away and go to the next lead.
If you do get her number, then you have another 2 months or 10 dates to determine if YOU want HER to be YOUR girlfriend.
If you are wondering how to find a girlfriend in your 30’s, then those 5 tips should definitely help you.
Remember guys, you need to find the right one and then treat her right!
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Jeff M. Stevens