If you want to start an intense, passionate debate between the sexes just bring up the subject of sex or money. If you want to bring down the house combine sex and money into one topic and see how many couples leave speaking. At a recent gathering of girlfriends we let our hair down and talked openly about sex and money. Here is what a few of my friends had to say:
Tiesha: “I was standing at a bus stop and a man in a car passed by me a few times before getting the nerve to ask me for my phone number. He pulled up to the curb and yelled, ‘Hey baby, you got a man?’ I said yes and I am very happy in my relationship so please keep driving. The guy then said, ‘Your man is obviously not on his j-o-b, otherwise you wouldn’t be standing at this bus stop.’ He started to laugh out loud then swerved off. I was embarrassed and that really hurt me. A lot of people judge a man by how much money he makes or the type of material things that he owns. I think that this type of thinking is unfair because if it was not for my boyfriend I wouldn’t have anyone to help with my daughter.
What makes my boyfriend even more special is that my daughter is from a previous relationship. He is not obligated to take care of her, but every morning he cooks breakfast and makes lunch for her. He picks her up from school and helps her with homework. I work full-time as a nurse’s aid in a convalescent home and attend school full-time to become an anesthesiologist. When I come home from work, the house is clean and my dinner is on the table. My boyfriend hasn’t worked in almost a year due to an injury. Without his support there is no way I could finish school and work the hours I need to get ahead. My friends and family always make little nasty remarks about my boyfriend not having any money, but I can’t pay them to keep my daughter.”
Tona: I have got to be true to myself. I know this might sound ugly or materialistic but a man has got to have some “cheese.” If he doesn’t have money I have no need for him. I think a man should always give a woman money especially if she is sleeping with him. It takes money for a woman to keep her hair and nails done. Think about the cost of make-up and feminine products- and have you priced birth control pills lately? It’s expensive being a woman. It’s the woman who has to have her insides tugged out in the case of an unwanted pregnancy and worse yet, who has to carry the baby for nine months and almost die having the baby – the woman.
I think any woman who lets a man lay-up on her, suck in her heat and eat her food without financial compensation is being used. Think about it. Men go to strip clubs and give money to girls just to look at it! This is America. If a man respects a woman she won’t have to ask him for money, he’ll just give it to her because he wants to see his woman carry herself in a certain manner. If a man doesn’t have money to give to a woman that he supposedly love, he shouldn’t expect sex, because he can’t afford the consequences.
Kara: I don’t care what any woman says; I think it is impossible for any man to be sexually faithful. As long as he respects me and doesn’t flaunt his whore in my face I can deal with his infidelity. As long as he brings his check home to me, there is food on the table, the kids have what they need, and all of my basic needs are met; for the most part I can be happy.
My mother was a teenager with five children. We were taken from her because she couldn’t properly provide for us. I watched her fall in and out of love, but we were still five hungry kids. My mother once let a recently divorced man live with us and he gave his ex-wife and children most of his money while he gave my mother empty promises. When he no longer had to pay child support he left my mother. Men are different from women. A man can have sex with a woman and not care what her last name is. I think men are much better at separating sex from love. But when a man gives a woman his money, something he has worked hard for, I think this means that he really cares and it’s not just a sexual attraction.
Money determines a person’s quality of life, and let’s face it; it takes two-incomes just to keep your head above water. I am not saying that a woman shouldn’t help a man out if he needs help or pay for a date every now and then, but if he doesn’t have money to give to a woman, she is wasting her time by sleeping with him. It’s easy to find a man to have sex with – that’s all most men want. To me, when a man is interested in financially helping a woman, he is letting her know that he really loves her.
My father always told me that if you want to know where a man’s heart is… just simply watch where he spends his money. Do sex, love and money go hand-in-hand? Men do you think giving a woman money indicates whether or not a man truly loves her?
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Cassandra George Sturges