One Angry Lesbian – The Power of Anger Management


Of the good in you I can speak, but not of the evil.

For what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst?

Verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts it drinks even of dead waters.”

Kahlil Gibran

Everyday we will encounter those who create anger within us. We will meet people who share the belief that those different from them are filth, vermin, something that needs to be eradicated.

They will look at you and you will feel the hatred and disgust. You will have to endure it, sit with it and let it run through you. I want you to.

People believe that anger is a positive emotion; others are unaware that they hold it like a security blanket. They have not yet felt the damage this feeling has on us. They have not yet understood its power and its course. They have not discovered its source.

Anger is a secondary emotion, it is created by underlying feelings far more powerful that are silently stripping us of our power and happiness. When we do not acknowledge or take care of feelings such as sadness, grief, fear, depression, shame, pride, and resentment we become engulfed by anger.

Anger is generated to numb out the above feelings blinding our goals and dreams, only creating hatred and more fears.

When we allow anger to make a home within us, we allow it to damage the temple of our soul. Like nails traveling through your blood stream it ripped and depletes you of life force and even worse, it moves you further away from joy and self-fulfillment. Organs such as the heart, lungs, shoulders and arms, ribs, breast, diaphragm, thymus gland, and the circulatory system are most affected.

Anger begins to turn to hate, which blinds love from being felt. We begin to build resentment and bitterness, and allow emotional issues to live within us for years and even a lifetime. These feelings if not acknowledged or healed, are permitted to take space in our lives, push and wear away those that love us.

Letting go becomes harder as grief and anger walk hand in hand. Anger is a false power, it tricks us into feeling invincible and protected, creating self-centeredness only pushing loved ones further away forging only more loneliness and an inability to commit.

A system at war with itself and energized, compassion and hope become faint, hard to feel in oneself or for others. Anger does not have time for trust to develop, it’s counter-intuitive and would mean removing walls and allowing opportunities to learn forgiveness which would interfere with prides agenda of isolating and creating sorrow.

If you are done living your life this way, create space to heal:


  1. Surround yourself with people, books, music, and an environment that promotes love, happiness, and growth.
  2. Identify your primary emotions. What was the underlying feeling that gave energy to anger? Did you feel sad, abandoned, lonely, scared etc…
  3. Now sit with it. Don’t run. Don’t move. It is okay to have those feelings, so feel them. Feel the pain, feel the source and work on healing it.
  4. Consider the consequence of your anger. Is it providing you with happiness and fulfilling your dreams. Is it really protecting you or pushing everything you want away?
  5. Make a decision to change. To redirect the energy of your life in a place that heals.
  6. Ask yourself am I moving forwards.
  7. Use ways to manage your anger such as journaling, exercising, listen to music, draw, meditate, pray, and practice sharing the feelings with others.

For example, I am attracted to emotionally unavailable women, whether it’s because they have abused drugs, alcohol, are co-dependent, or have been abused they have nothing to give emotionally as lost as I am, I walk towards the familiar. Wanting the attention of my mother who was taken from me early and was not always present to me as a young child, preoccupied with her spiritual growth and work. As grateful as I am for her life the wounds from our relationship haunt the relationships I create. When I cannot fill the loneliness I became sad, lost and end love affairs with a horrific fight that have been a product of anger. This is a painful discovery, but one that needs to be addressed, one I need to feel, love and heal.

Being powerful in knowing yourself and being a captain of your feelings not a sheep. Learn so you can teach others through example and positive life choices.

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

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Alex Karydi


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