Real Solutions to Real Anger and Aggression

Most of what you have been told about anger and aggression and how to manage it has come from people who have no idea how satisfying it is to watch your opponent fall to the ground, unconscious, after you punch them in the face. 'Problem solved' you tell yourself as everyone watching cheers you on.

Herein lies the problem with most anger and aggression management programs. They are written by pacifists attempting to create clones of themselves. All the while thinking there must be something wrong with us for being so angry and aggressive.

Well I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with being angry and aggressive. Anger is just an emotion, the same as happiness, sadness, joy and fear. Being angry that someone is beating up your Nana is a good thing, because it prompts you to take action. If you did not get angry, who would protect the people you care about or stand up for the things you believe in?

Anger is an action oriented emotion. It essentially demands you to take action, by giving your body the adrenalin and blood flow it needs to take this action. It helps you when you feel out of control or that there has been injustice or that someone's rights are being violated (sometimes your own). A few other examples of angry people include;

• People angry about world poverty donate to World Vision and the like,
• People angry about homelessness help build houses in poor communities,
• People angry about genocide overseas lobby their government to take action to stop the killing,
• Colonists angry at the injustice of the British tax system forged a war and created a new nation in response,
• When Martin Luther King was angry about injustice and racism he dedicated his life to brining justice,
• The world was angry about the Nazi regimes many neighborly invasions and treatment of the Jews, so instigated WWII,
• Nelson Mandela was angry about injustice in South Africa so dedicated his life to abolishing apartheid.
The list goes on and on and on. Anger has created much good in the world. So anger per-se is not the problem. It is how we hate when we are angry that makes all the difference.

The people listed above used their anger to fuel their passion to help the world. People in jail have used it to destroy their lives. Which are you? And how do you make the choice to use anger for good rather than evil?

In this question lies the key to good anger and aggression management. You first need to know your own anger intimately. What does it feel like when you start getting angry? And what does it feel like you want to do? Once you know the answers to these questions you have an understanding of the physical symptoms of your anger.

Remember anger is an indication that action needs to be taken, you can use it to guide your behavior, rather than respond to the intense emotion of anger by acting in a violent way.

Now do not get me wrong, I love to fight. I spent the majority of my youth boxing and my early 20's working as a night club bouncer. Fighting is within me and it will never go away. But I also like my freedom, and realized some time ago that if I react with violence every time I feel the intense emotion of anger, then I would soon be locked in a box with the rest of societies loose cannons. I can not imagine a world where sex with women does not exist. I actually could not think of much worse.

Once you have a sound understanding of your own anger, you can begin to learn skills to channel that intense emotion into something positive, rather than using it as a one way ticket to the land of violent same sex relations in the communal showers.

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Shannon Pedler

Author: admin

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