Cheating is one of the most devastating things that can happen to the modern marriage. It is not the worst thing that could happen but it definitely ranks near the top for most people. When you're going through the aftermath of cheating, it probably looks like there is nothing that can be said to make you feel better or even remotely alright.
The truth is that there are a few things that can be said to help sooth some of the wounds that cheating leaves behind. These are some of the things that need to be heard and may make a difference in your marriage after cheating has thrown it for a serious loop.
- I'm sorry. These are perhaps the most healing words on the planet when they are said and felt completely from the heart. Telling the person you love more than any other person on the planet how honestly sorry you are for your role in the cheating (whether you were the one who actually cheated or not) can go a long way towards bringing healing to your broken marriage.
- I love you. One of the biggest fears after cheating has ripped both your hearts to shreds is that the love you once shared is gone. Reassurance is powerful in good times. It's crucial at a time like this. You must reassure your partner in words and deeds that you do still love him or her. There is little hope for a future together if you can not get that particular point across.
- Please and thank you. There is a reason these two phrases are known as magic words. They open doors, bring smiles, and even open hearts. Say "please" when you ask for a second chance and if one is not immediately offered it's time to say "thank you" for the good times you shared and the great memories you have.
If you reach the point where you need to walk away, do not worry about it too much. Now is the time to make statements with actions and not words. You are not abandoning your marriage. You're taking a step back and making room for Plan B.
The good news is that using the healing words mentioned above has softened a heart in your favor and is continuing to open doors you may not have even realized were closed. Give your words time to work by offering your silence until they do.
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T Dub Jackson