Ladies – let’s get one thing straight. We love you, and we couldn’t live without you, but there are times you drive us downright crazy!
You can throw out all the excuses in the world – “I’m having a bad hair day” or “My mother never loved me” – but really, none of them excuse some of the things you say and do. And quite frankly, if you ever want to be considered marriage material, you’ve got to get the crazy under control!
First of all, there are some things that men will never, ever care about. This list includes, but is not limited to, your shoes (unless they’re stripper stilettos), your hair (unless it tickles our faces while we’re getting it on), or your clothes (as long as they’re on the floor due to the aforementioned sex). And we certainly do not ever want to hear about any “monthly cycles” you may or may not be experiencing. Keep that to yourself!
While we’re on “personal issues”, a man is the king of his castle, and his throne is… Well, you get the picture. Sometimes we spend a half hour in the bathroom – that’s just the way it is. What are we doing in there, you ask? While taking care of business, we might be reading, catching up on our Sports Center (thank you, Blackberry!) or drilling to China – bottom line is it’s not your business. Give us a few minutes and we’ll excuse the hours you spend trying to get your hair “just right”.
And speaking of hair and makeup – if you don’t want an honest opinion, don’t ask for one! Otherwise, be prepared to hear that yes, those pants do make your ass look big and that lipstick you’re wearing reminds us of our grandmothers. I know you ladies spend hundreds of dollars on the makeup you wear, but we really do like you best when you look like yourselves. So for one night a week – is that too much to ask – lay off the foundation and just kick back on the couch with us.
So what if the couch is a mess? Deal with it! Your living room doesn’t have to look like something out of Home and Gardens magazine every minute of every day for your life’s work to be validated. Just imagine how much better your life would be if you actually tried to enjoy it instead of worrying about every errand crumb or dust ball. As long as that pile of dirty dishes in the sink hasn’t grown legs and actually moved, it’s fine!
It all comes down to this – try to relax and live a little! Seriously – do you know how much better your lives would be if you just calmed down a bit? You don’t see many men worrying about the size of their rear ends, do you? Men love to be around women who don’t take themselves too seriously. Try to get better at any of these issues and you’ll find men falling over themselves to get with you.
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