“Quincy Jones could not locate just just one black lady great more than enough to marry and bear his children,” I wondered out load while flipping as a result of the webpages of his autobiography. He said, “I do” to 3 white women to formalize a genuine, committed romance in the eyes of society. He implied to these women, “You are not just some lady whom I share a bed with when it's easy. You're a copartner of my dreams and all that I intention to be.” What is missing in the black lady that stops Quincy Jones from inviting her into his sacred house of matrimony? “What's wrong with us?” I tearfully requested myself.
Probably Quincy Jones needed anyone to see him as he noticed him self, extended before there was tangible proof that he would be the revered musician he is nowadays. He was raised in a society that noticed him as a black male with boundaries and restrictions. I imagine the regular black lady would have been worried about the lease and the baby needing footwear. His part as provider would have taken precedence about some aspiration to enjoy musical instruments in smoky, dark rooms late at evening with stunning free of charge women most of us, black women, would have needed him to get a “serious career.”
When the wounded souls and broken spirits of black males and women arrive collectively, from time to time the union is loaded with the hefty baggage of oppression and disappointment leaving either occasion with minimal to give to the other. Simply because of the psychological, monetary and social pressures of nowadays, some blacks are not ready or psychologically geared up to give every other the soul food stuff that is needed to nourish our dreams of tomorrow.
I imagine it's significantly less distressing for us as black women to believe that that black guys need white women due to the fact her hair blows in the wind and her eyes are sparkling blue. We want to believe that this due to the fact we do not have to glance within our very own souls for solutions that may be distressing. We would then have to problem our part as “superwoman” and self-righteous, martyrs. We do not want to believe that that it’s possible it's not the stereotypes that we listen to about white women being docile and sexually uninhibited. We chant to ourselves how we pay out the payments, wash his clothing and prepare dinner his supper, but when he steps out of line we are there with a tongue-lashing to make positive that he recognizes and appreciates our difficult work.
As a black women, I speculate if from time to time we are also bitter when sweetness is in order also stern when being laid-again would suffice and also difficult when softness could do it so significantly better. Probably it is impossible for us to give our guys, what we are seeking to attain for ourselves. Probably it's complicated to trust with shattered faith, adore unconditionally with a bruised coronary heart and assist somebody else's aspiration with a broken spirit. Simply because the typical American white lady's previous did not comprise the very same variety of discomfort as the American black lady, her vision of the black male is not blurred with criticisms and anticipations.
I do not believe that that black guys day white women due to the fact they are American symbols of natural beauty and feminism. I believe that that in Quincy Jones' circumstance he married, not white women, but women who could glance within his coronary heart and validate his highest picture of himself. Probably she was ready to remind him that regardless of racial limitations in American society, her adore is residing proof that his soul is free of charge to be whom and whatever he wants to be.
Cassandra George Sturges