(and why she’s not yours just because she spreads her legs)
As a physician to many women who worked in the sex-for-money business, as lover to many women of many ages, nationalities, and careers (including x-prostitutes and dancers), I’ve had the privilege of having the trust and the insight to the emotions and physical bodies of a unique type of woman.
In the process of learning from them and of loving them, I also gained much insight to the minds and emotions of the 3,000 plus women who came to me for help with their sexual and physical problems (during my years working with the hormone replacement of menopausal women).
It comes as a surprise and as a mysterious fact to most men when they discover that most prostitutes will not kiss their clients. Why will prostitutes not kiss the same man they will spread their legs to–and more importantly what very important lesson does that teach us about the emotions of women in general (and people in general)?
Most men have the mistaken idea that when a woman spreads her legs to him that he is gaining access to the most important and sacred part of her. This can give him a sense of power and accomplishment that makes him feel like a bull when he goes back out into the market place.
Taking with him the idea that this goddess has opened and surrendered herself to him, he now feels like he can conquer the world and takes that confidence and leaves the castle to face the world as a warrior.
On the flip side, when his princess denies him or rejects him for another, he can feel castrated and powerless to face his foes and inner demons.
This is why men who give this power to their lover can have great strength when she is open to him but become powerless and depressed when she rejects him. It’s why men who are very dependent upon this feedback from one particular woman can lose their balance and take the life of the woman and her new lover when she rejects him–in his mind she has literally castrated him and made him feel worthless.
There are several possible areas for great power and accomplishment in this flow of emotion and energy but there are also areas where men can open themselves up for destruction.
So, what does all of this have to do with the idea that prostitutes don’t kiss. It’s this (and more). She does not give up herself when she opens her legs to you, she gives up herself when she opens her mind and emotions to you–when she lets you plug into her soul.
As a medical student, we learned of a form of syphilis that infects the brain. When this happens, the pupil does not react to light (become smaller) but does react when focusing on an object that moves from far to near (accommodation). The trick for remembering this change due to neurosyphillis is that the pupil accommodates but does not react (as does a prostitute who is at risk for syphilis).
So, the prostitute accommodates your penis and your simple idea that when you put your penis inside of her that now you are a powerful man. But, she does not REACT to you, she only ACTS for you. She becomes an actress so that you might imagine yourself powerful and then go out as warrior and fight your battles.
It’s an illusion.
You do not own her or any woman simply because she spreads her legs to you. You only own her when she determines that she feels safe enough to trust you with her life–when she feels like you would die for her safety and happiness, and when something spiritual happens that can be facilitated but not fully explained.
Then, and only then, she will long to GIVE herself to you. You cannot take a woman, she must invite you to come in. She must want with every part of her being to be owned by you. Then and only then can you take her. When this happens, then you will have the most sacred part of her–her emotions, her mind, her soul, and her true kiss.
Of course when this happens, you will have access to her body, but you will not take it for your simple pleasure. At this point, you will take her body and her kiss and her thoughts the way manna is received from heaven, the way Moses received the sacred commandments, the way the Buddha receives enlightenment–as a gift from heaven.
I have interviewed literally thousands of women about the intimacies of their sex life, most of them married, most of them having sex with their husbands, and most of them acting. Most of them in love with their husbands, most of them caring for their husbands, but few totally surrendered to their husbands–most of them (not all) actresses.
When I have had a lover who has in the past worked as a prostitute, I have been fascinated to see her go from having difficulty even having an orgasm to eventually begging me to take more of her because with my taking she becomes more liberated and finds a deeper freedom AND a more intense pleasure from sex and life. She starts to know a total surrender orgasm and the connection between sex, and Love, and GOD.
So, when a prostitute or any woman spreads her legs to you, then yes you can take part in the play. You can become the actor and then continue that warrior act as you go out to your business.
But when she is hungry to kiss you, and begs you to take more of her thoughts, aches for you to know more of her because in your knowing you bring new energy to her bedroom and to her walking about the earth outside the bedroom–then you will know with her kiss that she has surrendered.
Then you will go out into the world the true warrior, the true knight who has already relinquished his own life, placed it as a sacrifice to your calling, and taking your lover’s passion as the fuel that gives you energy for your sacrifice for the planet.
Leonardo da Vinci said that most people spend their lives converting food into dung. That’s it. When you have a mission that is fueled by a real kiss, you will know the hatred of others, you may be threatened, you may even lose your physical life, but you will know true love, true accomplishment, and will experience a real kiss.
To know more about total surrender orgasm and how make it safe for you to be kissed, go to the link below:
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Charles Runels, M.D.